Forefront Families

When are you most grateful for something?  This New Year's Eve we were doing some last minute `Krogering', when Brian saw an elderly lady having a problem starting her car. Half an hour later, and with a small gathering of men all offering advice under the hood, the car finally started.  I saw the look on the old woman's face as she rested her head on the steering wheel in absolute relief.  "You are a Godsend", she told Brian.  Gratitude is most readily expressed when some major discomfort has been diverted.  However, we need to model gratitude to our children at the most basic level.  We need to show them how and when to say, `Thank you', for small things.  I have often heard people in restaurants say to the waiter, "Give me some water."  It is a command, not a request.  There is no `please', or `thanks' offered for the service.  Kids learn from adults.  We need to show them how to be grateful for every kindness offered. 

During the depression, when people barely had the money to survive, the value of their possessions rose dramatically in their own minds.  One doll or one toy soldier became of utmost value to a child during those hard times, because it was the only toy they had. It is very difficult for kids these days to understand value and gratitude when they are regularly showered with large quantities of `stuff'.  All they understand from this is a `Santa Clause' style parent with no financial restrictions and who will give them whatever they want.

There are three sure ways to teach your kids how to be grateful.  If you consistently demonstrate gratitude, they will automatically follow your lead.  Let them see you thanking others for their kindness or for services rendered. Let them hear you talk about your gratitude toward others. Another way is to show them gratitude.  They feel great when you tell them how much you appreciate the way they looked after little sister in the market, or took the dog for a walk, or gave Mommy breakfast in bed, or did their homework without being reminded.  Being recognized for doing a good job has a profound effect on anyone, big, or small.  The third way is to stop being Santa Clause.  Don't give children stuff every time you go shopping.  They learn to expect it.  Cut the Christmas wish list down to 3 items each.  Have them buy little gifts for one another so they understand the value of the gift they paid for.  By giving to others they will also experience the pleasure of making someone else happy.  This is teaching them to be outward focused. 

Gratitude is a wonderful attribute to teach your family and one Jesus clearly taught us - `In all things give thanks'. (2 Thes 5:18).  

Thank you for taking the time to read our parenting tips.