Forefront Families

There are many reasons why a child might feel insecure within a family structure: All of the following can create insecurity in a child:

• Family tensions such as disagreements between parents.
• Structural changes such as a parent leaving or a parent remarrying.
• Poor self-image because of negative parent messages.
• Neglected by parents.
• Suffering physical or emotional challenges.
• Dealing with emotional, physical or sexual abuse, harassment.
• Threats such as poverty

CASE STUDY 1

Two-year-old Jasmine was found in a cardboard box in China and taken to an orphanage until she was adopted by a U.S. family at three years of age.  When her adoptive parents took her, she was terrified.  She was thrust into the arms of strangers who spoke a language she didn’t understand, and taken away from everything familiar.  She cried for several weeks. Her new parents wondered if they had done the right thing by adopting her.

Star Points

	Although we know that these children are in a much better place when they are adopted into loving families, from a child’s viewpoint, they are completely misplaced.  It takes time and patience on the part of the parents as the child adjusts to their new home.
	Adopted children need time to develop a sense of stability and belonging before being introduced to other caregivers or strangers because they may feel as though they are being abandoned again.

CASE STUDY 2

Ten-year-old Katie and her family moved to the neighborhood from another city.  Katie's new best friend Pam lived next door and their parents became the best of friends.  Katie was paralyzed with fear when Pam’s father started touching her in places she knew were 'wrong.'   She would hide when Pam’s father was anywhere around.  Pam’s father told her she was “just being silly” when she tried to get away.  She didn’t know what to do and was afraid to tell her parents because they were friends.

Star Points

	Parents should explain clearly to children what “wrong touching” is.
	Parents should be aware of their child’s moods and general demeanor enough to recognize when something is bothering them.
	Parents should be counseled to know what the appropriate steps are when they suspect there is a problem, or a child tells them that something inappropriate has happened.
	A child should receive the appropriate counseling when incidents such as this occur.

CASE STUDY 3

Thirteen-year-old Jason was a preacher’s kid who grew up traveling with his evangalist parents.  He was never able to bond with other kids his age longer than a couple of weeks or become part of a team in sports or other recreational activities for kids because his parent were always on the move. He longed for the stability of familiar places and people.  He often felt overlooked, wishing people would ask his opinion about things and take interest in his hobbies.  He felt like his father was too busy for him and he craved his Dad’s attention.  Jason felt everyone else had his parents attention but he didn't.  Jason was lonely and felt he had no value. 

Star Points

	Children feel a sense of personal identity through their interactions with others.  Being part of a peer group also teaches a child how to maintain relationship with others—how to become a team player and to share. It activates the Golden Rule:  ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’  Peer interaction develops  character for team / group activities.
	A sense of belonging is very important to a child’s development.  “Belonging” means being cared for and connected to others.
	Parents should recognise that when they choose to have children, parental responsibility comes before work - no matter what the work is.