Forefront Families

`Getting married and living happily ever after', is a very fine thing but wouldn't we really
love to know how we can be sure this will happen?  All too often we think it is luck or that
we `dodged life's bullet' and came out unscathed.  Did we just happen to pick the right
partner or have great kids?  I think not. 

The first step is having a plan.   It is important to be intentional about what qualities
we want in a partner and what we want our family to represent. We taught our kids from
the time they were small how to find a great life partner - by making sure that in all major
value areas, both felt the same.   When our kids got into their teens, the `formula' was
locked in and they made sure that before they got emotionally involved, their major values
were in sync.  When they visited their girl/boyfriend's homes they noted how the family
interacted and whether there was affection and respect.  They chose partners who had
complimentary interests to their own, who worked at a similar intellectual level, who
respected their parents, who had the same Spiritual beliefs as theirs.  They talked, before
getting married, about how many kids they might like and what disciplinary tactics they
might employ. More families are broken up by differing beliefs in family discipline than we
realize.

Once committed, it is imperative to create a strong value system.  Decide what
principles your family will adhere to and practice those before you introduce them to your
children.  Here are some suggestions - loyalty, honesty, respect, commitment, self
control, excellence, care of the environment, good sportsmanship, education, keeping a
healthy body.

We have to have training.  We cannot just say that all of the above is expected.  We have to model it and also physically train our kids on how to meet the family expectations. Kids don't understand what commitment means unless they actually see it in action. 
Commitment means sticking to a task until it is completed, holding onto friendships unconditionally, supporting family endeavors and encouraging family members to achieve their own ambitions.  Training means showing kids how to do a task and then having them do it over and over till they get it right.  It is also important to acknowledge effort.  You would be amazed how quickly toddlers can learn to do tasks.  We often think it is quicker and less messy to do things ourselves, but in the long run, delegation wins every time.

There are two more parts to this article.