Forefront Families

Previously we talked about the value of planning ahead, of being purposeful, and of having a strategy for your family.  We discussed the importance of adopting strong family values or principles that we can be known for and that we can live by.  We also looked at the importance of training.  Children need to be taught how to fulfill family expectations.

     The next key is in being a strong, positive role model.  Children will not learn by what you say as much as in what you do.  We, as adults, often think we are already molded and make excuses by saying, "That is just me.  It is in the genes, and I'm too long in the tooth to change."  This is absolute rubbish.   We can control our emotions.  We can choose to get angry or not.  This is one of those times in life where becoming a good role model provides us with the opportunity we need to get stuff right ourselves before we expect our kids to do the same.  If you want your kids to control their tempers, then you need to be aware of your own emotional reactions and stop yourself before it comes to the surface.  If respectful communication is a high value for your family, then a peaceful, caring household will be achieved when all family members speak kindly and listen to one another.  Once you are aware of your difficulty in this area, work out appropriate ways to dispel the frustration.  It may mean that you have to be more proactive with your children.  Give them plenty to do so they do not frustrate you.  Count to 10 before speaking a harsh word, or walk away until you are calm.  Discuss how to achieve this value with your spouse so you can do it, and get support for it.  This way you are presenting a united front.

     Be a well-disciplined family.  Good discipline doesn't just refer to being well-behaved, although this is a key factor.  Children who present as being well-disciplined send a message that they accept and value authority.  Adults then are more likely to respect them.  Such children are also a pleasure to have around.  Good discipline applies further to creating projects, training for events, doing chores, managing study, and many other aspects of personal and family life.  It's difficult to be well-disciplined when there are no expectations set.  To make it work there has to be a plan. To reach a goal, steps have to be laid out and it takes being well-disciplined to achieve the end result.  If you want to attain a qualification, it takes focused study.  If you want to win a race, you have to practice regularly and keep bettering your own time.  If you want to manage a household, there has to be order - order means creating a plan and having the family's cooperation to help you achieve it.  Kids need to be well-disciplined in all activities so that they learn how to take responsibility in school, at work, in the family and to make a positive contribution to society.