Forefront Families

As parents, we become frustrated that our children are disobedient and do not
behave as we expect them to. For every act of disobedience there is a cause
or multiple reasons. If you want to reduce the number of incidents of unacceptable
behavior in your home, then an understanding of the following factors combined
with a willingness to act on them is necessary.

1. UNDEFINED VALUES.  Most parents would say that they feel strongly about certain things related to family living, but have never clarified them or written them down in a concise form. Most children would not be able to explain the meaning of the word ‘family values’ let alone quote what their family’s values are.  Values are the principles or rules by which a family chooses to live by.  After identifying these values, the next step is to work out how these values are going to be achieved within the family.  Parents need to then explain their expectations of behavior and the consequences for non-conformance.  When kids know precisely what is expected of them in any given circumstance, they are much less likely to misbehave.

2. NEGATIVE ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS. Loud talking, shouting, screaming, arguing, sarcasm, criticism, gossip, and put-downs set a negative environment. Negative environments create negative behavior. If you had a video camera going all day in your home, what would you discover in an analysis? Studies suggest that in the majority of homes there would be more negative talk and action than there would be positive. If you change from a negative to a positive environment, then many negative behaviors will disappear.  When you encourage children, they want to please but when you only pick on the negatives, then any attention is better than none.  Create high expectations and strive for them. Expect them from your children and they will rise to your standards. Aim to have the family that others admire and want to be around. It will save a lot of marriages and you will accumulate many friends.

3. POVERTY can lead to child misbehavior. The battle for survival and the culture this creates often has its resultant behaviors, especially when people in poverty are housed in the same area. Kids get frustrated when they see other kids with a particular range of toys or being able to do and see things they have no access to.  Homes of first and second generation unemployment, often create a sense of hopelessness.  Kids may feel there is nothing to strive for, no purpose to life and no expectations. They often join other like minded kids and gangs can form and
lawlessness ensues.