Forefront Families

When you hear the term ‘family values’, what does that mean to you?  Values are principles, ideals, expectations, standards or a code of ethics by which we live. Values affect our health, our security, our sense of belonging, our decisions, and the way  we manage our family in this  ever-changing society.

Perhaps the earliest recorded source of values is The Ten Commandments.  They describe the need for loyalty, honesty, respect and honor, integrity, trust and the responsibility to care for ourselves and for others.  The American Constitution is another rich source that protects our rights and our freedom to live peacefully.

We learn values primarily from our parents.  Most children learn quickly the consequences of stealing, cheating, lying etc.  However, in our post-modern society, it seems that many values that used to be set in stone, are now open to interpretation.  ‘Right and wrong’ have become gray to suit circumstances.  This subjectivity creates confusion for children who need clear and consistent principles to enable them to make wise choices.

What can we do to establish clear values for our families?  The process is simple. Create a list of values for your family like those identified here.  Under each heading, decide how that particular value will be demonstrated in your family.  Take respect for example.  Respect in my family means ‘speaking kindly at all times, taking good care of borrowed stuff and returning it promptly, being punctual, not interrupting when others are speaking, doing chores without being asked, obeying authority without question, being gentle with animals and protective of plants and trees.’

When you have created your list and described how each value will be demonstrated, then decide on recognition and rewards  for compliance as well as consequences for non-compliance.  The important thing is that everyone in the family needs to agree to live within the expectations.  If parents do not comply and model the expected behaviors, then the system falls over immediately.  

Address one value at a time so that the family can change behaviors without the  whole process becoming overwhelming.  The process needs to be positive. It would be fun to create a family shield to keep your family values visible.

We owe it to ourselves, and our children to adopt unwavering family values.   By doing so, we create stability and security within our families and society.