When you think of families that you really admire, you would probably describe them as ‘successful families.’ Since it is hard enough for one person to achieve success, how on earth do you get a whole family to be like that? The only way we can discover the essence of successful families is to break it down into bite-sized components. Being ‘successful’ means that one has reached a goal or result that one has tried or hoped for. It may mean, too, that one has attained wealth, fame or some other sort-after ideal. ‘Successful teams’ are those led by successful leaders. What makes a successful leader? Think of bosses you have had in your work-life who have inspired you to do your very best on the job. These are leaders who immediately think the best of you. They trust you and encourage you. They can see your potential and give you every opportunity to grow by giving you more responsibility. They lead by example. They value your ideas and input. They train you and then let you run with it. They publicly praise your efforts and never take the credit for your work. Oh, if only we could all be exposed to that kind of positive leadership – where would we be now? What successful leaders are actually doing is unselfishly passing on their knowledge, skills, and expertise in an effort to train others. This ultimately benefits workplace productivity.
Successful families have successful parents that usually have done what successful leaders do. Parents got these skills through positive parenting when they were kids, or they learned how to be a successful parent through study or observation. If success means to achieve goals or master an activity, then it requires planning and self-discipline. It requires courage and encouragement. Every person needs to feel successful. When parents are frustrated by not having achieved their goals in life, then their kids are less likely to know the process or the thrill of achieving goals either. It is never too late to experience a measure of success in your life as a parent. Contrary to common belief, parenting does not stunt your growth or end your chances of learning something new. It enhances it. Every person in a family (parents too) should have an equal share of space and time for themselves. Each family member should be encouraged to follow their dreams as long as it does not adversely affect the rest of the family. Some dreams are best achieved together.
What is the first step to family success? Create a set of strong family values and make one of your values, ‘Personal and Family Excellence.’ Here are some suggestions about how you may accomplish this. Dream big. Set goals for projects or skill mastery. Make a clear plan for achieving your goals in a timely manner. Be interested in and encourage other family members’ endeavors. Always prepare well and do your best to complete tasks. Allow for mistakes. Reward yourself or other family members for successes. Make some initiatives a whole family event, and don’t forget to plan to help others outside your family. Successful families are those whose kids experience skill mastery and goal achievement through the support and encouragement of parents who also experience success.
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WHOSE WILL WINS?
BLENDED FAMILIES:
PARENT OR PAL?
