| Biting |
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I vividly recall an incident when my son was about 4 years old. I heard a very loud cry of distress, and as I looked in his direction, to my horror, I saw my neighbor’s little girl firmly attached to his cheek. I raced to the rescue. As she detached herself, I found a big round ring of teeth marks on Jared’s face. I was angry to say the least and did not waste any time telling my friend, the offender’s mother, what her daughter had done. I wonder if you have had the same experience? Was it someone else attacking your child, or was it your child who bit another? After doing some research I found that there are several reasons why children bite. The first is experimental biting. Everything goes into the mouth. As they start to cut teeth they find biting on things can be soothing. They learn to taste, roll things around in their mouths and to bite fruit and vegetables. Of course foods do not protest so they don’t realize biting can hurt, until the first time they try biting mother’s breast or finger. They will either stop when the reaction has been an unpleasant one, or they may see it as a game. The best way to deal with initial biting is to not allow the child to think it is funny. When they bite, say in a firm voice, “No! Do not bite Mommy. It hurts.” Even if you think the child does not understand what you are saying, they can hear the stern sound of your voice, and the fact that you have removed them from the situation. Recognize when they are teething and give them something safe to bite on. Smear their gums with soothing gel to relieve the pain. The next reason for biting is through frustration or the feeling of powerlessness. Children under three years of age often cannot express themselves adequately and when older children take their toys, they feel powerless to retrieve what they lost. When biting gets a response that makes the older child drop the toy, they see that as the way to get back what they lost and may continue to do that. It is important protect your small children from these situations where older children take their stuff. You still need to deal with the situation by immediately removing the child and saying firmly, “Do not bite, it hurts!” Kids may bite because of stress when they become emotionally upset and cannot express themselves. Consider what pressures are going on around the home or aimed at small children. The child could be experiencing harsh physical treatment or older children might be being too rough. The child may even be neglected and trying to express the need for attention. Consider the circumstances in which the child bit. What was happening just before it occurred? You can always teach older children how to act gently and often head off the triggering situation when you are aware of what it is. You do need to teach the child that biting is not the answer. Do not bite the child back to teach him a lesson. There are far less barbaric methods to let him know he can express himself more appropriately. I am sure you, like me, have been aghast at hearing reports of adults biting. It happens in sport (Tyson biting Evander Hollifield’s ear when things were not going his way), and in team sports like football. These are examples of children being allowed to grow up without learning how to handle their frustration appropriately. (Reference - www.parenting.sa.gov.au) |
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