Forefront Families

To ‘expect’ means to confidently assume something is going to happen or arrive.  It sounds simple, but expectations can cause a great deal of confusion, frustration and stress. 

John worked for several bosses.  His job was to ship parts to businesses around the country.  Unfortunately, each boss thought his orders should take first priority and he would hound John about his apparent tardiness to get their orders out at the time they promised the customer.  None would accept that John only had one pair of hands and could only do one job at a time.  He got so stressed that he developed an ulcer and had to leave his job.  Sarah showed some aptitude towards soccer so her father enrolled her in after school training.  He was determined she was going to make the school ‘A’ soccer squad. He pushed her at training, deriding her efforts and criticized her whenever she missed a goal.   Her mother, on the other hand, was concerned Sarah wasn’t getting per piano lessons or homework done.  Sarah loved both parents but became stressed to the point of becoming ill.  Jude was a 4 year-old boy who loved to play with his train set.  He would try to set it all up by himself, but when he couldn’t make something fit right he would fly into a rage and kick the trains around the room.  
 
What is wrong with these pictures?

We can have great expectations of ourselves or others and we can also have expectations that become destructive and have long lasting negative effects.  How can we be sure that our expectations will have positive outcomes?  First of all, having great expectations of your children is a high motivator and they will rise to the occasion if you encourage and praise them.  The important factors are to make sure the expectations are realistic and that the child really wants to attain the same goals that you have in mind.  They may have other ideas.  When kids see parents reaching preset goals, and when they see the excitement these achievements create, they may want to pursue the same satisfaction.  Kids will believe they can do anything they put their minds and hearts to when they live in a high achieving environment.  Parents need to work out how they can best encourage their kids’ aptitudes while helping them maintain a healthy balance in their lives.  Bosses need to understand that those who work for them need written expectations and clear time frames to get work done.  They also need to discuss any difficulties being experienced when the outcome is not being reached, and make appropriate changes.   Blaming a worker who is trying his best only causes dissention.

Jenny and Joe had never done well at school or anything else for that matter.  They had no aspirations for themselves or their kids.  They just existed from day to day, and their kids never had the confidence or inclination to meet any challenges.
It is just as destructive to have no expectations for yourself or your kids, as to have expectations that are too high.  It takes a discerning friend or family member to recognize that the Joe and Jenny’s of this world sometime just need encouragement and coaching to get them to lift their vision and experience the thrill of success.  You are not only doing them a great favor, but also giving hope and courage to their children.  We owe it to ourselves.  We owe it to our kids and those around us.  Every-one deserves to experience the excitement of achievement and the thrill of the chase.  It is never ever too late to learn.