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The Value in Family Meetings |
I have almost completed a book on family values called ‘The Family Shield.’ I talk about where values come from and why they are so fundamental to effective family management. As part of introducing values, I discuss the value of family meetings as a means to train the family and monitor progress. As I was thinking about the content of that chapter, I thought of the companies I have worked for and the number of meetings I attended. Obviously, businesses feel meetings are valuable or they wouldn’t be wasting production time. Some of the reasons companies hold meetings on a regular basis are to discuss issues, present ideas, report on progress, encourage one another and provide an effective communication network between management and all other departments. A good chairperson will ensure that the meeting has structure (an agenda), stays on task, and that all members have the opportunity to share their opinion. The secretary will document discussions and decisions made. If there are any projects to be completed there will be a time frame, a person nominated to be responsible for each action and a review time set to ensure that the actions are completed as requested. Formal meetings clearly state their functions and set goals and objectives to ensure ongoing effectiveness. In other words, they are proactive. They provide a means whereby concerns are objectively dealt with and ideas are encouraged and acted upon for the good of the company.
As families, we often put one foot in front of the other without really knowing where we are heading. It is easy to see how this happens. People get married and without children, it is easy to have order in their lives. Then kids come along and everything seems to go down the river in a hand basket. Adults’ lives are suddenly taken over by little people who can’t actually tell you what they want for the first few years of their lives. Friends, there is hope! You can gather up your family and put it on a road that is going somewhere. And the good thing is that you, as parents, can nominate the direction and work out how to get there.
Just like employees, our families need to feel connected, valued, and encouraged. They want a safe place to express their needs and ideas to help create solutions. They need to know what parents expect of them. By gathering together, everyone can hear the same information and be able to ask questions about it. Family meetings should be fun. They can be an activity to look forward to, a place to plan vacations, get encouragement, or to be nominated as Prince or Princess for the week with special treats for positive behavior. At meetings you can discuss ways of helping others or work on creating your family Coat-of-Arms (Shield). Family meetings need to have a purpose, goals and objectives. You can write these up as a family. You can create 3 month, 6 month and yearly goals. You might say, “Our goal for this 3 months is to create our family shield and work on mastering two family values. Or, we could work on a community project that we can do as a family. In the second 3 months we will work on 2 more values, but we will also talk about our Christmas vacation and how we will all save up for it.” A yearly goal might be that you will have reviewed all your family values as well as have completed some project that all family members can be involved in.
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WHOSE WILL WINS?
BLENDED FAMILIES:
PARENT OR PAL?
