Forefront Families

Holding regular family meetings is the most efficient and effective way to discuss ‘family stuff’.  I wish we had known about family meetings when our kids were growing up.  I know it would have made a world of difference to the running of our home.  Here are some of the advantages of formally meeting together.  It is a quick, easy and accurate way to communicate information.  Everyone gets the same message and questions can be asked on the spot if someone is unclear.  It is a place to learn how to express opinions, concerns, to share ideas and to voice big dreams.  Kids learn how to solve problems and deal objectively with conflict.  Setting goals and doing projects together helps family members learn to work as a team.  It is a place where parents recognize their kids’ achievements and praise them in front of the others for jobs well done.

To make these meetings successful here are some suggestions.  Set a regular time and place.  I suggest meetings should be no longer than 1 hour, although 30 minutes would be good for the first two or three meetings.  Meetings may be once every two weeks or monthly.  Rules should be set to ensure meetings run smoothly and peacefully.  Only one person should talk at a time.  Conversation should be respectful.  Nobody should feel chastised or put down.  No idea is a dumb one.  All family members should be present.  There should be no distractions, so phones, games, TV, and computers are out.  An agenda for each meeting will ensure kids know what will be discussed and knowing the content beforehand also gives the children a chance to prepare their contribution.

Here are some suggestions for running a meeting.  A parent should be the chairperson initially, and they ensure the agenda is followed.  Start with a fun five-minute ice-breaker/game (Google ‘Ice-breaker activities’).  Then have each person relate something they like about the person to their right - this is a great way to teach kids to give and receive compliments graciously.  There needs to be a short training time – a time for discussing a family value and explaining what your expectations for that value will look like in your home.  Next, encourage each person to voice a concern, idea, or suggestion.  Discuss solutions to any problems.  Make plans for vacations or outings and set goals to fulfill them.  Meetings need to be a fun time.  Finish off by acknowledging good work or behavior. 

Points for success are to make sure everyone knows the rules of the meeting.  Keep the meetings upbeat and moving forward.  Stick to your agenda and time frame and don’t let side issues cloud your focus.  Make sure everyone understands that the meeting is a safe place to express feelings and ideas without repercussion.  Don’t allow disrespectful or angry conversation.   Don’t use meeting time to discipline your kids.  Meetings should be positive.  Don’t allow sabotage.  If one child does not agree with decisions made, you need to be sure that they understand that the decision is for the benefit of everyone, not just them.

 Kids love to meet expectations and they love to be praised.  Family meetings allow every family member to appreciate the others, to share in their struggles and to witness their progress.  A bond is created.  It can happen to any family.
How about yours?