Forefront Families

One of the best ways to build healthy relationships amongst family members is to establish regular opportunities for sharing and discussion, and research has shown that this can easily be established when families share meals together.

A study that evaluated the correlation between mealtimes and emotional health in children was conducted in Minneapolis / St Paul, Minnesota.  The research team interviewed 4,747 adolescents at 31 Middle and High Schools, and asked them:

• How often did you eat with your family last week? 
• Do you think your parents love you?
• Can you talk to your parents about your problems?
• What is your grade point average?
• How often do you find yourself in trouble?
• Do you drink, smoke or think about suicide?

The research team found that the more family meals shared, the better was the children's emotional health. And for reasons that were not made clear by the study, the positive effects were much greater for girls than they were for boys, perhaps because teenage girls, who tend to be more emotionally geared than boys, benefited more from the regular check-in with their families.

Researchers found that about 50% of the girls who hadn’t shared meals with their families in the previous week reported smoking cigarettes, compared with 17% of girls who had eaten with their families every day. For the boys, comparable rates were 36% and 22%.

Even after factoring out the questions measuring strong family connections, the kids who had regular meals with their families still fared better than those who didn’t. They surmised from these findings that, in short, family meals make an independent contribution to kids’ health and well being above and beyond how strongly connected they are to their families.

Bill Doherty, a professor of family social science at the university (but not involved in the study) said, “The findings show how important family meals are at a time when they are on a decline in the face of extraordinarily busy lives. Since the mid-60s, the number of families who eat together has declined by one third, but that trend may be starting to reverse. What we know from a ton of research is that the strongest factor in kids doing well is a cohesive family life. Kids usually become attached to unhealthy peer groups when they need a family.” 

So how do we improve our family communication?

• Be an example:  Be an open and positive communicator.
• Turn off the TV at meal times.
• Discuss age appropriate topics with your children.
• Have regular family meetings where every member can express concerns and ideas that will improve family communication.
• Brainstorm vacation ideas and other activities.
• Respect all family members’ opinions, even if there are different.
• If you have concerns that are not appropriate for children to hear, discuss them privately.  Do not whisper in front of the children or keep secrets from one another—this builds instability and lack of trust or security.
• Agree on family mealtimes and insist that everyone is present.  Talk about your daily activities together.  Show interest and encourage one another.
• Support one another’s endeavors.
• Discuss life issues that the children might face so they are prepared.
• Talk about disturbing current events that kids might see on the news.
• Ask for professional help when issues come up that are beyond your ability to provide adequate guidance.