Forefront Families

I am sure you are aware of the appalling rate of sexual offences against children during their first 20 years?  It can happen to any child, in any level of society.  It happened to me when I was nine years old.  No one had ever warned me about healthy and unhealthy touching and because the perpetrator was a friend of the family and the father of my best friend, I felt powerless to do anything about it.  I exhibited tell tale signs like ‘crying for no reason’, but my family put that down to insecurities through moving to a new country, losing old friends and having to find new ones.  If I knew now what I should have known then, that guy would not have seen the light of day for some time. 

You will be pleased to know that schools are taking very serious steps to guard children against sexual violation.  Since my husband, Brian, teaches this subject at elementary level, I thought I would share the main points with you so that you can reinforce this program (or one similar) at home.  I refer to the “Safe at Last” school program produced by the ‘Sexual Assault Center’ Education Department at SAC in Nashville, TN. 

           Here are some important points to teach your children.  Nominate safe people and tell your children who they are so they know whom they can trust.  Create a code word for ‘emergency’ and make sure your children know what that word is in case they need to secretly indicate to you that they are in danger.  Tell your children how to stay safe by: only playing in a park with trusted adults; not responding to an invitation into any enclosed space such as a room, house or car alone; not talking to strangers or accepting money, candy or gifts from them; refusing to keep ‘our little secret’ and avoiding sleepovers with friends if parents do not know the family well enough to trust them.

There are the four basic steps to teach your kids about personal safety.  AVOID the above potential dangers, be cautious around strangers and be aware of your surroundings at all times.  If you feel threatened by anyone RUN away as fast as you can, yelling “Help! Help!” as you go.  If you can’t run away then SURPRISE a ‘would be’ attacker by asking direct questions loudly like, “What do you want?” or make statements like, “Don’t you dare come any closer!”  If the person comes closer, yell at the top of your voice, “Help! This man/woman is trying to kidnap me!”  If grabbed, the next step is to DEFEND your self in any way possible.  It could be poking the attacker in the eye, punching them in the stomach or nose, stamping on their feet, biting them, scratching them, or kicking them in the shins, joints or groin.  If grabbed from behind, head butt them by throwing your head backwards so it hits them in the face, nose or jaw.  Scream as loud as you can. 

         Tell your children it is against the law for any adult to touch their private parts unless it is to keep them healthy.  It is against the law for any adult to show them or make you touch their private parts.  If anyone touches them where they shouldn’t they should immediately tell a trusted person.  Never keep it a secret.  Finally, being a victim of an attack is not their fault. 

         Sexual violation is not acceptable under any circumstances.  Your children should feel confident to tell you about it, no matter who committed the crime – a stranger, a family member or friend.   Watch out for changes in your child’s behavior such is withdrawal, tearfulness, or avoidance of particular family members or friends.  Keep open lines of communication with your children at all times.  Encourage them to tell you about their worries and concerns.

If you have any comments or stories on this subject, please contact us at management@forefrontfamilies.org