Forefront Families

Children can be indulged in a number of ways:

a) lots of “stuff”
b) lack of discipline
c) low expectations

CASE STUDY 1

Four-year-old Cassie had everything, including a pretty pink battery-powered miniature golf cart to drive around the grounds of her home. She only needed to tell her father that her friend had the latest toy, and she got one too.

Cassie’s parents both worked and, to ease their guilt for being away so much, they showered Cassie with presents. Cassie often became bored and careless with her things, leaving them outside or at a friend’s house. If anything broke, she knew she could get another one.

Star Points

“Things” can’t replace what a child really wants: Quality and quantity time with their parents.  This is FREE!

Children need to hear the word, “no”, sometimes. They need to treasure what they have and understand there is a cost involved in the things they are given. As the child grows older they need to learn about thinking of others, sharing, being part of a team, obeying the law, working for an employer etc. All of these activities require an appropriate response to the word "no." It involves giving of themselves for the good of others.

CASE STUDY 2

Eight-year-old Christopher was the youngest child and a definite “Momma’s boy.” His mother had difficulty getting pregnant and regarded Christopher as especially “precious.” His father was disabled, causing him to feel inadequate as a caregiver.

Christopher’s mother did everything for him: She home-schooled him, drove him to all his extra-curricular activities, his friend’s homes etc, and watched over him every minute. Every time he called, his mother would stop what she was doing, even interrupt phone calls and guests, to run to his aid. She would lay down with him every night until he fell asleep. Christopher still sucked his thumb.

Star Points

	Children need to develop socially and emotionally. Part of this development involves learning to be apart from a parent, learning to wait, learning to share, and earning to interact with others in settings other than the home.
	Parents need to learn to let go of their children so they can develop their own persona. Parents should be wary of catering to their own nurturing drive, or need to be needed,  at the expense of their children’s healthy development.
	A child needs to learn to be a part of family activities that do not necessarily revolve around them. When they are infants, they are the center of attention because they can’t take care of themselves. As they get older, becoming independent teaches them about consequences to decisions they need to make as part of maturing. They need to know that they have a valued place, but the family’s activities don’t revolve solely around them.

CASE STUDY 3

Fifteen-year-old Paul was in the Principal’s office just about every day. He drove his teachers crazy with his constant disobedience and disruption of their classes. His Principal scheduled a conference with Paul’s parents and suspended Paul until they finally complied.

During their meeting, it was obvious that Paul was extremely spoiled. He got everything he wanted, including his own big screen TV, DVD player, X-Box, Play Station, computer, and cell phone. He never wanted his parents to come to school, so they were unfamiliar with, or involved in, his education. Occasionally, Paul complained about how a teacher was treating him, to which they always reacted with a scene at the school that included shouting and cussing and blaming everybody else for their son’s behavior.

Star Points

	The world does not revolve around a child.  the child is not always right.
	If a child learns that they can easily play the victim to get their parents attention, it could cripple their growth, shielding them from taking personal responsibility, and preventing them from realizing that their actions provoke consequences.
	Indulging a child in 'things' can teach them that they are somehow ‘deserving’, without having to work for it. Typically, people are less inclined to respect what they don’t work for.