Forefront Families

Stand back and take a good look at your kids and their activities.  Now, for those of you over 40 years of age, think back to what you were doing as kids ‘way back in the day’.  Let me draw a comparison.  When I was a little kid we had no TV. In fact, there was no TV, because it hadn’t been invented yet.  Imagine that!  What on earth did we do with ourselves?  I’ll tell you what we did.  We played with our friends, rode horses, made huts, went swimming at the beach or in the creek, caught eels, cooked and ate them, climbed trees, and went with our parents to visit our relations most Sunday afternoons.  We always sat round the table and ate home-cooked meals and enjoyed many lively discussions as we ate.  Houses were smaller then so we had to share bedrooms.  We were a family who were involved in one another’s lives - literally.  There was only one car per family and life in general went at a manageable pace.

            OK, now take a giant leap forward to 2009.  What do we commonly see?  Kids in front of their computers or TV, playing video games, and texting or talking to their friends on cell phones.  Meals, often not home-cooked, are often consumed in front of TV, in relays, with little opportunity for family conversation .  Parents and kids have less to do with one another because work patterns and pace of life have changed.  Kids tend to become isolated from one another and from their parents.  Their bedrooms have become their own ‘play station’ equipped  with their own TV, computer and phone, so physical contact is not necessary in order to communicate.  Because of societal trends kids and parents have tended to slip almost into separate worlds.  In fact, I think many of us are losing the art of talking to different age groups because we have nothing in common to talk about.

            Having things in common gives a sense of security and belonging.  When someone else is interested in my world, I feel cared for, needed, loved and appreciated.  At whatever age and stage we are at, we bring our life’s experiences, maturity and wisdom into our conversations.  Our kids need our input and, strange as it may seem, we need theirs.  They do have things to offer to make our lives richer.  Remember the saying, “Out of the mouths of babes…” Well, I can think of a number of occasions when my kids have made me think differently – thank goodness.  One of my favorites is when my son wisely said to me more than once, “Mom, you have to think outside the box, think OUTSIDE the box.”

            How do we re-engage our kids in the techno world we live in?  It isn’t easy because we were not raised in their world.  However, we do need to catch up.  If we don’t at least make an attempt, a generational gap will remain.  The way they can appreciate the fun we experienced is to plan activities and adventures with them.  Just talking about the good old days isn’t going to work.  Be interested in what your kids are doing.  It may mean you have to learn their techno language and understand the rudiments of Facebook, MySpace, texting and so on.  Ask them questions about their science experiments and hobbies.  If you are interested their stuff, it may well show them that other people’s lives are interesting, too.