Forefront Families

I can’t believe that anyone would want to make quilts.  I mean, why would anyone take perfectly good material, snip it up into minute pieces and then sew it all back together again?  Absurd!  I can’t believe that my cousin didn’t really like the fantastic bracelet and earrings I spent forever choosing for her 50th birthday. I’d have been over the moon if someone gave them to me!  I can’t believe anyone would be seen dead wearing orange and red together! Yuk!  I can’t believe that my kids are so different in temperament when they came from the same two parents!  One is forthright and strong-willed.  The other is very laid back.  One is a performer who needs to have lots of friends around her all the time, while the other prefers to be alone and is embarrassed when attention is drawn to him.  Considering our ‘out there’ personalities as their parents, I imagined our kids would have to have been just like us.

It is human nature to imagine that everyone should think the same way we do.  It has been wisely stated that ‘we are the sum total of our life’s experiences’.  What influences and circumstances have you had in your life that have caused you to become cautious or bold, to be timid or precocious?  What amazing genetic inheritance has made you look and act the way you do?  There must be as many different chromosomal combinations as there are snowflakes.  Yet, knowing all this, I still forget to actually appreciate the differences that create such a rich texture in our families, communities and society.  Instead, I want to squash them all into a small box to make them compatible with my own thinking.  Just think how peaceful it would be!  There would be no conflict because I wouldn’t have to accommodate anyone else’s ‘weird’ quirks or ‘bizarre’ thinking.

The best thing we can do as parents is to encourage our kids to live out their own dreams, find their own purpose and reach their own goals.  Too many times we want to live out our unfulfilled ambitions vicariously through our kids.  NOT!  Where do we start?  Let’s back up for a minute.  First, we have to be happy in our own skin.  Do we like who we are?  If not, then why not?  If we are happy in ourselves we will be less likely to try and make others follow our dreams.  We will be more sensitive to their need to get the same kick out of life that we do – but in their own way.  Granted, we do have responsibilities as parents that mean we have to make personal compromises for the sake of the family.  But then, that is the road we chose in having a family.  Watching our kids light up when they achieve something is fulfillment itself.  We need to expose them to a number of activities until they discover what they are really good at.  Some kids are really adept at physical activities like sport, while others love to be creative in some other way.  When kids are unhappy it is often because they haven’t found anything they excel at.  They become confident when we encourage them for trying, and praise them when they succeed.

Every person on this planet has something special to offer.  Some of us are fortunate to discover our uniqueness and purpose early in life.  Everyone deserves to experience that feeling of value. It has been stated that everyone has his/her fifteen minutes of fame.  Probably 90% of the population is still looking for it.  We don’t have to all think the same way.  Others don’t have to march to our drum, and who cares if one is out of step with all the rest?  The important thing is to be confident enough to do it with flare.

If you have any comments, questions or suggestions on this subject, please contact us at management@forefrontfamilies.org