Forefront Families

I remember our first experience of Thanksgiving in America. We had only been here three weeks and were excited to be invited to our friends’ celebration. They owned a country store complete with its own restaurant. Even though the store was closed to the public, that is where the family met to enjoy each other’s company on this special occasion. It’s great to celebrate and it’s even more important to be thankful. Sally and I have often been asked if we celebrate Thanksgiving in New Zealand. My reply is that I would love to be able to do that, but the Mayflower didn’t quite make it.

I know that we should be thankful at all times, but it is good to have an annual reminder. It seems to be in human nature to be critical rather than thankful. When did you last thank your boss for providing a job for you? When did you last thank your parents for all the hard work they put into helping make you the person you are? When did you last thank your pastor for the massive amount of spiritual input and encouragement he has given over the years?

I had my presupposed ideas what a Thanksgiving celebration would look like…Family and maybe some friends getting together around a meal table; the most senior person giving the Lord thanks for the family and food; at the end of the meal people sitting around and each person saying what they have been grateful for over the past year.

Not in this family gathering! Family members walked up to the food, sat down and ate it and disappeared as soon as they had finished. We couldn’t believe it! But then we were just ‘fresh off the airplane’ as the saying goes. What did we know about Thanksgiving? We declared that if we were to celebrate this event in the future we would do it differently. We have. “How good it is to give thanks to the Lord,” says the Psalmist. Our attitudes change when we are grateful. It helps create a positive environment in which people are encouraged and affirmed. We all need this.

One of the first things we are taught to say as babies after ‘Momma’, ‘Daddy’ is ‘Thank you’ or ‘Ta’ as we used to say. Having worked directly with young children and teenagers over the past 42 years I have noticed a significant decrease in manners over the last 20 years, especially now. Many parents appear not to be taking the time to teach and train their children on the use of manners. I was a school administrator. A Middle School student came to the Office and I did quite a bit to help her. She turned around and started to leave. Just as she opened the door I called out, “Oh, Thank you Mr. Burgess.” She replied, “You’re welcome!” Those in the Office cracked up laughing. She had no idea.

A mother was asked to come and see me because her son was often acting so ill-mannered in school. She told me it wasn’t her job to teach manners, it was the school’s responsibility! Something is very twisted here.

As parents, let’s be thankful and be great models for our children. Paul in one of his letters to the churches said, “Be grateful in all things.” Let’s ensure that we create thankful children, and that this Thanksgiving day we create opportunities around the table for family members to say at least one thing they are grateful for.

If you have any personal Thanksgiving stories you want to share with us please do so at    management@forefrontfamilies.org