Forefront Families

It has long been known that to be intelligent, gorgeous, wealthy or athletic is to have a distinct advantage in our society’s perception of “success.” When we think back to all the kids we looked up to or envied when we were at school – what did they or their families have that we didn’t? Most likely, one or more of the above! Who are you and how are you significant if you aren’t 'exceptional' as per the above definition?

CASE STUDY 1

Five-year-old Paul was on the local soccer team. He played with all his heart, but somehow he couldn’t get the ball to go where he wanted. The other kids would make fun of him and the coach did his best to be patient with him. After the game, Paul and his Dad would talk about it together. It would have been easy to quit, but his Dad knew Paul wanted to play so he kept encouraging him. They would practice together during the week when Dad got home from work. Gradually, Paul learned how to control the ball better, eventually becoming a valued member of the team and representing his school in sports competitions.

Star Points

	Every child should be encouraged to dream big.
	Kids will more likely realize their dreams when they see their parents, as role models, achieving great things for themselves.
	Every child needs to feel they can succeed at something they like when  they stick at it. Sometimes talent has to be nurtured into fulfillment.
	Kids should not feel pressured into an activity just because it is a family tradition.
	Kids need to experience the joy of seeing success through hard  work.

CASE STUDY 2

Twelve-year-old Stephanie was feeling the pressure: Her father had been a pretty good athlete in his day and he was adamant that Stephanie should follow in his footsteps – and be even better. She had no time to play with her friends. If she wasn’t doing chores at home, she was running round the track or competing in events.

During her meets, her father waited at the finish line with the stop watch, yelling for her to run faster. “There is no such thing in this world as second place, Stephanie! It is win or nothing!” her father would say, over and over. Stephanie started to get stomach pains.

Star Points

	Parents should avoid trying to live their dreams through their children.
	Children need to enjoy their recreational activities without pressure.
	Children need to have a life outside of their hobbies or athletics.
	Doing one’s best is a far more objective and satisfying value than measuring success by “winning”.
	Parents need to teach their children how to deal with failure instead of making first place the only acceptable goal. Few people win all the time. Success is achieved by finding satisfaction in reaching one’s greatest potential.

CASE STUDY 3

Sixteen-year-old Grant talked excitedly to his friends. You could tell he was a happy kid. He was short, skinny and had terrible acne—yet nobody seemed to notice. Grant had an unspoken cofidence about him. Most kids his age would have been self-conscious about their appearance, but he was on top of the world.

Star Points

	When a child is valued for their uniqueness and strengths, a strong self-esteem is developed.
	When affirmation isn’t received from within the family structure, self-esteem is often dictated by the feedback they get from others, and this is often based on outward appearance only.
	When a child does not fit the “cool” image, they can begin to believe others’ opinions about them, unless their self esteem has been built up by  family or close friends.