| Parents take control |
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Why is it that a mother or father would even think about trying to be their child’s
friend instead of being what they are designed to be…a parent? For many parents, it appears that they are prepared to sacrifice their God-given authority on the altar of leniency and friendship without any regard for the needs of their child. A child does not need a friend who is many times their age and much bigger than they are. Adults don’t even think like them! They don’t want you as a friend. They want you to be a parent. Our society is suffering from an overdose of guilt stemming from the fact that we are not spending enough time with our children. This guilt causes us to pander to our children’s needs in bursts of leniency and to subjugating ourselves to a secondary role, while elevating our offspring to the emperor’s pedestal in our own home. A five-year government funded study of 11,000 children concluded in 2008 has found that they have less respect for authority figures and considerably less for the police. According to Dr. Aric Sigman, quoting the results of this study, children have declining levels of trust in authority figures and institutions including family and teachers. The undermining of authority has swept the Western world in greater force than any pandemic H1N1-type disease, and it has greater catastrophic results. It is as though most of our authoritative agencies and institutions have given up trying to be authoritative, substituting the ‘you will do this’ with the ‘if you don’t mind’ or ‘it would be good if you would’- type phrases. This is all done in the name of people’s rights and the desire not to offend anybody. Emblazoned near each cashier’s register in most supermarkets is a statement that bears out the point I am making. “Please don’t get offended if we ask you for your ID when buying alcohol”. “No alcohol without ID” is sufficient. It uses fewer words. It says what it means and there is no need to beat around the bush. Children need to feel secure. To know fair and square that when they cross parent-enforced boundaries there is a consequence. When there are no boundaries or consequences it leaves a child feeling insecure. When there is no authority or when boundary lines are constantly changing, insecurity levels in a child are elevated. The lie that so many parents are buying into is that you might hurt your child’s feelings if you dare to discipline. Have the courage to be a parent who loves their children enough to stand strong against the general trend of this crumbling society and say, “Enough is enough!” I am going to be a person who refuses to be politically correct and follow the crowd when I know how I should perform my duties as a wise, effective parent. I was kicked and nearly bitten recently by a kindergarten child in the course of my duties. He was totally out of control. I met the mother to discuss the issue. I saw straight away that she exercised little authority over him. When I was a school principal over a 23-year period I was cussed by experts with words that the youths invented on the spot because they had used every other known one. I have been threatened by young people, and my pedigree has been put in question. Is it not surprising that when I called the parents in most of these cases they would say to their child in a meek and submissive way, “What’s wrong, darling? Did someone upset you?” Such puny responses from a parent indicate to
me that they are not an authority in their own home.
Dr. Sigman states in his great book ‘The Spoilt Generation’, “By shying away
from being in control and maintaining a clear position of authority, we have engaged
in a type of parental and societal self-harm.”
We need to stand firm on our principles, refuse to be cajoled along by the lenient
crowd and make a difference as a great parent. Be encouraged to do what you know
instinctively to be right.
If you have any stories along these lines, wish to make a statement or ask a question
write to us at management@forefrontfamilies.org
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WHOSE WILL WINS?
BLENDED FAMILIES:
PARENT OR PAL?
