Forefront Families

There are some folks in this world who were destined to lead and many others to follow. Our leaders were very often strong-willed children. As Dr James Dobson has so aptly said, “It is important to break the will of a child, but not the spirit.” This can be a very wearing process because the strong-willed child will constantly challenge boundaries, and often not want to accept others’ authority. It is imperative that parents win, for the sake of the child, the family, and society in general.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, The Strong-Willed Child & Child Anger.

CASE STUDY 1

Two-year-old Jennifer had been told a number of times not to touch the TV remote. Jennifer wanted to push the buttons. She placed her hand near the remote and watched for her father’s reaction. Nothing. She put her finger out and touched it. Her father frowned and said, “NO, Jennifer.” Jennifer paused for a split second and then grabbed the remote. In turn, her father picked Jennifer up and took her straight to her room for a five-minute time out.

Jennifer began to wail and within two minutes was out of her room. Her father immediately took her back to the room, reminded her of why she was in 'time out' and told her sternly to stay on the 'time out' chair until he said she could come out.

He left the room and she ran after him screaming. Without speaking this time, he took her straight back to the chair and walked away. After the fifth time, Jennifer sat on the chair until her father came to get her. She didn’t touch the remote again; neither did she get off the 'time out' chair until she was given permission.

Star Points

	It is the parents’ responsibility to ensure that their children are obedient for them and for others. This means providing clear expectactions, training children to meet them,  setting boundaries, and being consistent in handling non-compliance.
	Strong-willed children can be very tiring in this regard. They relentlessly push the boundaries as far as they can.  Even more reason to be consistent even if parents feel like they sound like a broken record.
	Strong-willed children can become great leaders and need to have their will directed into positive outcomes.
	Obedient children will be embraced and appreciated by other adults. They will become successful adults because they have learned to obey authority and take direction.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, The Strong-Willed Child & Child Anger.

CASE STUDY 2

Eight-year-old Freddy was disruptive in the classroom. To get his way, he would create such a scene that adults would give in just to keep the peace. His teacher despaired.

The Principal called his parents to discuss the problems Freddy was creating in the classroom. His parents didn’t know what to do with him. The Principal told them that if they didn’t get him under control, then he might end up hurting himself or someone else. His parents enrolled in parenting classes and sought professional help to manage Freddy’s tantrums.

Star Points

	Discipline is the most important component of child rearing. Parents have a duty to their child and society to deliberately instill positive values and habits into their children.
	Discipline needs to start before a child it 1 year old! It becomes increasingly difficult to start setting rules and boundaries for children once a behavior pattern has been established.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, The Strong-Willed Child & Child Anger.

CASE STUDY 3

Twenty-five-year-old Melody is her parents’ pride and joy. This was not always the case, however. Growing up, she was a very strong-willed child who demanded attention and wanted her own way most of the time; a sharp contrast to her older brother who was very compliant. Her parents had decided on their disciplinary approach prior to having children, but had to make some adjustments for Melody when she began showing her colors. At seven years old, her leadership qualities began to show, but to encourage this quality, while staying in control, her parents had to continually set new boundaries. It was difficult at times because Melody would compare how she was disciplined in comparison to her brother. She didn’t always think her parents were being fair.

It certainly was a battle of wills and her parents made a few mistakes along the way, but Melody has thanked them many times over for their consistency as parents and role-models. Today, she feels better prepared to raise her own children because of her parents’ example.

Star Points

	Attend parenting classes, if possible, to help you discover the knowledge and skills that are crucial to raising your strong willed child.
	Parents must be positive role models: Teach your kids by your example.
	Parents should decide together on the values, expectations and boundaries that are important in their home, and commit to consistently following through with discipline and affirmation, where needed.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, The Strong-Willed Child & Child Anger.