Forefront Families

Parents are responsible for providing a safe, peaceful and loving environment for their family to grow and thrive.  Just as an employer establishes guidelines for their employees (and lays down consequences for poor performance), parents need to show clearly that they are in charge, and that a peaceful and happy environment results when every member is adhering to the family’s values and expectations.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, Who's In Charge: You or the Kids?

CASE STUDY 1

Thirty-seven-year-old Susan had been trying to have a baby for a long time.  Just as she was beginning to think her time was running out, she became pregnant.

The long awaited new baby arrived.  The parents focused their attention on little Anna’s every need.  As the months rolled by, one-year-old Anna discovered that she only needed to cry or point and mommy would immediately give her what she wanted.  She didn’t have to crawl much or try to walk because mommy carried her everywhere.  She often slept in her parents’ bed at night.  If her needs were not met instantly, she discovered that if she lay on the floor and screamed she could get the attention she wanted. 

Other family members tried to talk to Susan and Paul about Anna’s demanding behavior, but the new parents blew them off, saying, “Anna is fine. She is just expressing her will.  We are so thankful to have her. We are here to give her everything she wants.”

Star Points

	Parents need to give time to themselves and other family members.  The child needs to learn what it is to be part of a family instead of the central focus of attention.
	A very young child can hear the tone in an adult voice – pleased or not pleased. A parent should let the child know what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
	For the protection and inclusion of all family members, parents need to create a set of strong family values, including expectations, boundaries and consequences.  Children know they are safe when they are loved, trained and disciplined to reach family and society expectations.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, Who's In Charge: You or the Kids?

CASE STUDY 2

Nine-year-old Ben was an only child.  His parents took him to martial arts, football, swimming and he was a member of the school orchestra.  They were very proud of their son, telling everyone how fantastic he was at everything he did.  He loved to hear his parents brag about him and he became more and more demanding and precocious.  Because his father had been harshly disciplined as a child and hated it, he decided he was going to spoil his son “rotten.”  Other parents would not allow Ben to play at their homes because he was a “selfish, spoiled little brat.”

Star Points

	Parents do their children a disservice by not disciplining them.  An undisciplined child’s attitude makes him / her unpopular and this can instigate poor self-esteem. These children often do not learn to share or become team players.
	Parents should not buy their child every instrument in the orchestra.  A child can easily become overly-tired, overly-stimulated and frustrated by having to perform all these extra activities without really having to master any of them.  This is also often the reult of parents living vicariously through their children.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, Who's In Charge: You or the Kids?

CASE STUDY 3

Fourteen-year-old Justin was sent to the Principal’s office for cussing out the teacher.  His mother was called to the school to discuss Justin’s insubordination.

The principal asked his mother if Justin is like this at home.  “No,” she replied. 

“Why do you think that is?” 

The mother looked thoughtful, and replied weakly, “I don’t ask him to do anything at home.” 

The principal thought to himself, Thanks for breeding a monster!

Star Points

	From early in childhood, children need to learn to be obedient.
	Parents should give even very small children tasks to do as part of the family.
	Children need praise when they have completed assigned tasks.
	Children need to be taught to respect others, including their siblings.
	It is important for parents to be conscientious and supportive of the role that other key adults play in their child’s life.

For more information on this topic, check out the Practical Parenting resource, Who's In Charge: You or the Kids?