Forefront Families

I haven’t found one grandparent yet who doesn’t like being one.  Well, I have to confess I don’t care for the term ‘grandmother’ because it is so ‘aging’.  However, now I have made up a non-grandmother name for myself, I have no problem in telling everyone who will listen, what a gorgeous grandson I have.  He is cute, don’t you think?

Grand parenting has a wonderful set of responsibilities all of its own.  Yes, I have heard the age-old saying that ‘grandies are there to spoil their grand-kids rotten and then hand them back’.  Much as this comment is funny to most people, it has a sobering effect on me for two reasons.  The first is that it gives the child a mixed message.  ‘At Granny’s place I can have anything I want and Granny will take me anywhere I ask.  Grandfather lets me have candy when I go to the store.  Mommy and Daddy don’t let me do that. Maybe my parents are just being mean.  I want to live with my grandparents all the time!’ 

The second problem that occurs is that parents are given back a child who has, for a short time, been the center of the Universe and it is very difficult for a child to understand why the same situation doesn’t happen at home.  Grandparents have a great deal to offer children, but, to create a seamless transition from one household to the other, both parties should adhere to the same values and expectations.  Since the parents are the primary caregivers, their expectations take priority.  Once on the same page, grandparents can have an incredibly positive influence over their grandchildren.  We believe that kids don’t want stuff so much as they want time and attention.  Grandparents have a wonderful opportunity to provide these things.  My grandson lives in New Zealand so it is very difficult for me to think of ways of being a constant presence in his life without buying him ‘stuff.’  I decided a fun thing to do would be to write him stories.  He is the hero and he has little animal friends.  They go on adventures together.  As the stories are collected, my daughter-in-law, who is a great artist, will illustrate them.  This will become a treasured book of memories for him for many years - perhaps for his children also.

Grandparents often have time to train their little ones to master tasks like riding bikes, tying shoe-laces, telling the time, learning to make their beds, learning to read and many other resourceful things.  If you think back to times with your grandparents what do you remember?  I remember my Nanny bringing out the board games.  One day we discovered the little marbles we were using for Chinese checkers were in fact, hard candies.  Why would this stick in my mind?  Because it was funny, we all laughed about it and I ate some.  Grandparents can make a cart and teach a child to safely run it down a hill.  They can teach their little ones to knit, or sew, or bake cookies.  Being a grandparent is a very privileged position.  We are the ones who have the responsibility to create wonderful memories for our grandchildren.  We can be proud as we help them make wise choices as they start taking responsibility.  We are the ones who can consistently encourage them to realize their dreams.

What gives me the greatest satisfaction in being a grandparent?  Knowing our son and daughter-in-law want their little boy to spend as much time with us as possible so we can positively influence his development.  What a compliment!